A ballad following an intense inner battle before my first ever spoken word performance.
The spotlight marked where my act began;
A stage of amplified voice,
Where I’d take a stand and stick it to the man,
For this time – I had a choice.
But as I sat awaiting in the audience
My defiance began to fidget,
While my mind digressed in its own performance
With the rise of my inner critic.
Why speak aloud when you’re safe in the crowd?
Your efforts are amiss.
You’re not fit to arouse and fiercely resound.
There’s no way you could do this…
‘Cause you’re too shy, you’re too quiet and you’re too small.
You can’t blare freely when you’re barely five foot tall.
You’re just a silly, giggly, freckly little girl.
You’re not nearly bold enough to challenge this world.
Trapped in my voice box,
I spew half-chewed lines of doubt.
The dread of defeat deftly mocks
With only one way out.
You see, freedom has no meaning
Unless it proudly speaks the truth.
You liberate your being
When you shout it from the roof.
Once flipped and stripped of expression,
Now I face the iron fist.
Let loose I devour my oppression.
I know I can do this…
‘Cause I’m small but mighty, tiny but feisty!
Challenge my stance and I’ll show ye
That my size bares no limitation
To the weight of my vindication.
Purposed by prose I must proclaim
I lose all sense of time,
‘Til the present calls the next act’s name
And now the stage is mine.
The horde hunt the fresh lead announced,
I strike the urge to flee.
Then once again I’m clawed by doubt;
The cynic versus me.
Why try your luck when there’s so much you lack?
It’s far too high a risk.
You’re not built right to rage and bravely fight back.
There’s no way you would do this…
‘Cause you’re too shy, you’re too quiet and you’re too small.
You can’t strive highly when you’re barely five foot tall.
You’re just a silly, giggly, freckly little girl.
You’re not nearly strong enough to take on this world.
Soaked in trepidation, I sink beneath my turn.
Deep below the ocean floor,
I tremble and squirm until something churns,
Until I can sit still no more.
You see, power does not sit and wait to be born –
It breaks and overthrows.
It crashes and bursts in the blows of the storm,
And from the rubble it grows.
When the trials of this lifetime violently surged
I shattered into bits.
Cast astray, stranded, I searched inwards – and I emerged.
I know I will do this…
‘Cause I’m small but mighty, tiny but feisty –
Try and tame what is wild and free!
Cage me and hate me and rape me but still,
I’ll conquer it all with the force of my will.
Bolstered by thoughts that fortify,
I stand and stride to fame.
Travelling under the lookers’ eye,
My bounce begins to wane.
When I reach the stage my heart is grasped
By the villain in my head
As she brings up scars of what has passed,
Her endless cries the living dead.
Why show your pain when you’re shameful enough?
Go back to your abyss.
You’re not structured to strut and hold your head up.
There’s no way you should do this...
‘Cause you’re too shy, you’re too quiet and you’re too small.
You can’t share fully when you’re barely 5ft tall.
You’re just a silly, giggly, freckly little girl.
You’re not nearly brave enough to counter this world.
Facing judgement in their rows,
I melt beneath the lights.
Then bracing fear and grief with hope,
I lift my mouth up to the mic.
You see, courage is not a trick that denies all our woes –
It is a wound that dares to heal.
It is the strength to turn hardship into seedlings of growth,
No matter how lost under ground we might feel.
Through the battles I’ve lost and wars I have won,
I have bled and found my bliss.
With faith, I reach out until beauty has sprung.
I know I must do this…
‘Cause I’m small but mighty, tiny but feisty!
I am proud and fiercely empowered – do you feel me?
My height is just shy of 1.5 metres,
And I have the right to be here.